My wife: Martha Stewart

Thanks Video X, for the vote of confidence on my wife's behalf. She did it! The turkey was scheduled to come out at 1:PM today, and when it did, we made a cut where the drumstick meets the body and there was alot of red, but the white meat was done just right, so I carved that up, put it on a platter (men have it so hard on the holidays!) put the lid back on the dutch oven and popped it back in for about another half hour. The dark meat got done while we ate. So much for my "Wal-Mart Christmas"!

She did so good though! No major nervous breakdowns and the food was out of this world. We only had one guest: my grandmother. That's the type of Thanksgiving I like. I drank beer and watched football while the tryptophan buzz kicked in from the turkey. Every once and a while, I'd look over to see where my grandmother's eyes were watching, and when they were on the tv, I'd cop a feel on one of my wife's breasts. It was so naughty. Makes you feel like a teenager again. (This concludes the Cozmo Confessions portion of this blog!)

It's great being the dad. Because the kids listen to me, I'm providing a great service just by being there, because for some strange reason, they listen to me. They run my beer or tea, whichever one I'm in the mood for, and my wife can do her thing without all the hassles of dealing with mouthy kids.

This is my wife's first major holiday strictly at our house. Her mother passed recently, and before that happened, all the major holidays were at my in-laws. Too much stress for me. I like it better at my house, because I'm not trying to participate in some contest to see who can violate fire code by having the most people in my house. That shit drives me nuts.

Well, I'm happy to report that our holiday went very well, and I hope anyone who reads this has the same experience - especially you Vid!