The boys, March 6, 2007
The first one that came out: Blake Lewis: the human beat-box; he's an awesome performer. He'll wind up in the top 3, for sure.
Sundance Head: you've got potential, but you need a great voice coach. Maybe you should look up Kathrine McPhee's mother. Also, don't listen to your agent when he/she tells you to cry all the time. It looks affected.
Sanjaya: no, no one was surprised at all that you know how to hula. We'd be surprised if you were a soccer hooligan or a rugby player, or if you were ever a rider in a rodeo; but hula dancing fits you all so well. In fact, I don't know who's prettier: you or your sister. I think it would come down to whichever one of you wore a coconut bra the best. In the American Idol competition, stick to the Micheal Jackson, androgonyous nymph-like character, and don't turn your back on it. Micheal Jackson is huge for that reason, and you will be too, if you stick to that formula.
Brandon Rogers: you're a star.
Chris Sligh: you're a star.
The rest of you guys: go home. You suck.
Labels: American Idol