Free Counter
ab scissors

Tales from a small town

Short stories about life in a small town. Non-fiction. Great reading.

Sunday, February 26, 2006

Middle America

I've been posting comments on Intellectual Insurgent's blog. She's an entertainment lawyer from LA. Since our worlds are completely different, it's been alot of fun checking out how she thinks. She's very articulate - but you wouldn't expect anything less from a lawyer now, would you? She definately doesn't disappoint. Neither do her frequent contributors, like BombsOverBaghdad, or Chris. All worth checking out.

Anyway, Intellectual Insurgent and I were getting into a discussion about why middle-America is, the way it is. She says that middle-America is getting screwed on wages, benefits and the corporations are busting up the unions. That's all true. She doesn't understand why they're putting up with it. To be quite honest, neither do I. I do have some insights, having lived here my whole life.

  • People in middle-America are very independent. They don't like the government, they don't trust the government, and as a result, alot of them would rather cut their right nut off, than take any type of government assistance.
  • People here love their guns, land and dogs. Of course, if you're a guy, you're really not a guy unless you've got a pickup truck. Only real men drive diesel duallys. If you don't drive a diesel dually, you're a pussy. And if you drive a car, you're a "city slicker."
  • If you must drink soft drinks, a man drinks Coke. Pepsi is a girl's drink.
  • If you can't change your own oil and do most of your own mechanical work, you're a wuss. It's OK if you've got to hire out transmission work, though. That's understandable.
  • During the winter, it's not encouraged, but if you do happen to fire your rifle at targets on a tree stump from an open window in your house, it's OK. Just make sure your daughters aren't home - or your wife.
  • It's OK to hang a deer upside-down from a tree on your propery and gut it in front of your daughter, as long as she's over the age of 5. She's got to learn sometime, that meat comes from animals that were once alive. Alot of women know how to field dress a deer by watchin their dads, very few will do it, though.
  • If you're worried about moving up the ladder at the company you work for, you're a "suck-ass."
  • Dogs are to be kept outside - hunting dogs will get spoiled if you keep them indoors.
  • You've got to have a few animals for the dinner table: chickens, maybe a cow or a pig. That way, you're not too dependent on your company or the government.
  • Horses are for girls; 4x4s are for guys who're serious about getting laid.
  • Southern Fried or Classic Rock is OK, but the real music of choice is Country.

People around here don't like government entitlements, because they're used to life on the farm. They'll fence pigs and cows to keep predators out. They'll spend alot of money on vet bills for their livestock (ususally, just enough for their own consumption.) They'll feed their livestock. Then, they put a bullet between it's eyes when the truck from the processor pulls up.

They see government benevolence as the same thing: why would the government want to take care of me from cradle to grave, if they didn't have some ulterior motive, like country-folk do, with their livestock?

That's precisely why they don't trust the government. It's life on the farm. Life on the farm may seem great to the cow who's getting fat, until that truck from the processor pulls up.